I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
