Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
