We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
