There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
