Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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