I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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