I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
