i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
