YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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