Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
