I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
