how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
