In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
