There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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