Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
