I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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