I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
