Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
