I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
