Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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