I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
