Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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