trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
