I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize