Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
