Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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