ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
