It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
