were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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