tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
