i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
