The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
