Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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