Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
