wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
