Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
