On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
