so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
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I need you to use more vowels.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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