Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
