Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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