Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Couch. On fire.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
