hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize