Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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