Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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