So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
