We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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