Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize