is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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