Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
