I feel like I'm in dance class right now
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
