If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
