Betty ford says i'm here all night
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
