i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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