nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Boobs speak an international language.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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