they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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