I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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