you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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