i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize