We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
