it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
