It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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